16th
12 -
2010
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comment closed
Is there any such thing as an ideal parenting style? Or, does effective parenting require a mix of styles, rather than the reliance on any one formula. These are some of the issues this article explores, as we look at the different styles of parenting. Traditionally, 3 main parenting styles have been identified. These are the authoritarian, permissive and authoritative. In considering these styles, it is also essential to recognize the impact that they can have on a child’s development, as well as on their behavior.
The authoritarian parent is one who makes rules and expects that their child will abide by those rules, without exception. It is a style that does not allow for any input from the child. It is very inflexible in its outlook, and in fact can hinder a child’s ability to think for themselves. Parents who adopt this style, do not take the time to explain their expectations, and as a result the child does not understand why certain rules are imposed. However, when rules are broken, punishment is usually harsh, and there are no positive re-enforcements.
On the other hand, the authoritative style of parenting is more democratic. Parents communicate their expectations to their children, while expressly setting rules and guidelines for them. However, they take the time to explain the reason for particular rules being put in place. Also, children know that there will be consequences if they fail to comply with those rules. Unlike authoritarian parenting, discipline is underpinned with warmth and love. There is two-way communication, as the child is allowed to express their feelings and opinions, and the parent takes the time to listen.
Permissive parenting is another style that has been identified. However, it does not involve the use of boundaries or limits. As a result of this, children whose parents are permissive in approach, usually tend to be out of control. Permissive parents operate with very few, if any rules, and prefer to allow children the freedom to do whatever they want. In other words, discipline is nonexistent, and wayward behavior goes unpunished. Without rules and structure, children learn to resent authority, misbehave, and display anti-social behavior. This can result in mayhem in the home, as parents are unable to control these children.
It is likely that parents will exhibit a mix of these styles and not any one in particular. However, there can be a tendency to use one style over the other. Ideally, parenting should be democratic in nature, as this will lead to a more positive outcome for the child. With authoritarian parents, children will become timid and unwilling to speak out, consequently, they tend to be introverted and suffer from low self-esteem. The permissive style of parenting usually tends to cause children to exhibit disruptive behavior, show signs of aggression, and possibly violence.
Effective and successful parenting requires a parent to be both firm and gentle. They must set rules, but must also be flexible enough to make adjustments where necessary. Being democratic, and thereby allowing input from kids is always more advisable, because it makes them more co-operative in the long run.
16th
12 -
2010
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comment closed
Parenting is one of the best feelings that anyone can have, which needs to be taken care of by giving proper guidance to your child. One of the basic things related to parenting is to understand your children, how they behave, what they think and what they want. The growth of your children depends on your parenting tips and tactics that you are using. Since, children are the shadow of their parents, they always want to become like their parents and so parents are the role model of their children. So it is very much important to teach your child good manners and etiquettes for better future.
Always try to become a successful parent by adapting good parenting skills which helps in building good relationships with their children. A successful parent can very well manage difficult behaviors, handle different situations and their own feelings. Always encourage your children instead of underestimating them for building self-confidence in them. It is very much important to become a close friend of your child by understanding and supporting your child or by involving into child related activities like playing with them. Spend a good quality of time with them and make them realize that you are with them.
One major thing that needs to be considered is always be consistent in front of your children otherwise they will take you as a liar. Try to teach them as much as discipline because it helps a lot for your children to be of good behavior, but always keep in mind that do not discipline your children unnecessarily otherwise they will not listen to you. In short, your child’s future is in your hand by adapting good parenting skills.
4th
11 -
2010
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comment closed
Older parents might remember their parents giving them a ‘swat’ on the bottom when they were bad or didn’t do what they were told. Today that is largely a taboo and most parents are turning to positive reinforcement as child discipline
. A parent will either change the tone in their voice to one of sadness or disapproval at the action and not the child when they do not comply with a request. Then, when they do accommodate what a parent requests, they are either rewarded with a sticker or other small trinket or kind words.
There are many different types of support for a child when they are doing well. Some like the reward system of stickers on a chart and at the end of a given period of time, typically a week, and the stickers are added up and then a larger item is given. Other parents forgo the items and use their praise or lack of praise to strengthen what the child is doing or not doing. They will use a ‘high-five’ or withhold this positive affirmation if the child has not done what they are told to do in a timely manor. Counting to three is also advised by some, other’s say the counting depends on the child and their age.
Some child researchers and critics of this system say it sets a child up to expect something in return for being good, something that should come naturally. Discipline is a natural part of parenting and childhood and being positive in order to get a child to do what a parent wants is not a new method, it’s just one that has come back into favor in recent years.
In order to make this work, a parent must first have the cooperation and respect of their child. This means they need to respect their child in order to receive respect. This does not mean they have to be their friend, which in some cases can be devastating. Children need discipline, structure and boundaries even if they test them daily; they need to know they are there. As soon as a child is old enough, begin discussing the rules of the house and what a parent expects of the child, if that is chores, age appropriate, and then discuss these. Be sure to praise the child when they have done what is asked of them, this is the positive part of the exercise in reinforcing good behavior.
Always remember to follow through on what is said as the parent. Do not promise to take away a toy or privileges if a child does not do something that is asked of them and then not follow through. If a parent says they need a child to do a chore or they will not be allowed to go someplace and the child does not do the chore, the parent must not take the child to the place, even if the parent wants to go to the place. This is the follow through. A child must know a parent is serious and in control. The child must know that there are consequences to their actions, whether they are positive or negative.
Reinforcement as child discipline, both positive and negative, will help a child to grow into a responsible adult. They will learn to respect boundaries, authorities and themselves. Children need to be disciplined but it need not always be in a mean or negative manor. They grow and learn from what is around them, from what they see and hear and from what they learn, mostly from their parents.
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